Mary DeMuth's life is full of deep wounds. 

When she was five years old, Mary was sexually abused by a pair of neighbourhood bullies. 

"I did everything I could to try to prevent what they were doing," said Mary. "They said they would kill my parents if I told. It was just a horrible situation, but eventually, I knew I had to tell because I was probably going to lose my life."

Mary told her babysitter what was happening, and the babysitter said she would tell her mom, but that never happened.

"The boys came back the next day. I thought I was safe," said Demuth.

At the end of that year, Mary's family moved, and she was set free from those boys. For ten years before she told her mom what happened, Mary believed her mother knew and did nothing about it. 

"There was just this part of me growing up that felt like no one would protect me, as well as, I felt like I had some sort of mark," Mary explained."I felt like I had this mark on my forehead that predators could see because it just kept happening."

This experience, combined with the tragic loss of her father at ten, led to darkness in her life and eventually to suicidal thoughts. 

In her teenage years, Mary found God, and through him, she was able to start her healing journey.

"There were a lot of scars and trauma, and I've spent years working on becoming whole again through the power of Jesus and through counselling and trauma therapy. All those things."

She shares her story in her book, Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse

"I say an untold story never heals, and when we keep it bottled up inside, it just festers," Mary explained. "You continually feel like you're the only one with that problem. But if you let it out to a safe person, not oversharing, you have that first spark of healing that begins."

"This book is my love letter back to people walking through similar journeys that I've walked."  

Today on Connections, Mary shares her story and how she was able to find hope and healing after sexual abuse.