Our kids are watching us, and because I said so just doesn’t cut it sometimes.

Lucille Williams, a national speaker who has ministered to couples and families for more than 25 years and author of The Impossible Kid: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child with Love and Grace, says our words and our actions need to match up to allow for authentic parenting and the ability to point our children to God.

"That just seems to be our go-to phrase. But, if we use it too much, it's really the way we live," Williams explains. "It's not our words. It's not because I said so, that they're going to follow what we say. It's the example that we set."

One of the verses that carried Lucille and her husband through the challenging times with their three children was Psalm 23:1-4.

"I think parents think the rod is for discipline, but what the rod does is it guides. It's gentle," said Lucille. "The sheep were never beat by the shepherd. The sheep were guided and loved. If a sheep went wayward, what did the shepherd do? He went out and got that one sheep and carried it back. That's what we're to do with our children. If they go wayward, that's not the time to beat them or get on them. That's the time to gently bring them back and carry them back, and say this is how we're going to do this."

Another thing Lucille mentions that we need to follow is the three C's. Stay calm, be clear on your directives and be in control of yourself and the situation.

"We have to get our calm from God. We have to get connected to Jesus every day because the more we spend time with God, the more like him we become," said Williams.  

Today on Connections, Lucille shares her experience and helps us look at parenting in a different light.