Christmas is usually a time of celebration and family, but it can also be quite stressful and at times, a challenge for those who are missing a loved one.

Grief can arise at any time, but it usually rears its head at Christmas, a season filled with tradition and family gatherings.

2020 has had its share of surprises including a global pandemic that has made it even harder to grieve.

Bob Smiciklas, a registered psychotherapist, nationally certified counsellor and licensed minister says grief is a complicated experience.

"It affects us emotionally through sadness, anxiety, sometimes anger, despair, guilt, a whole wide range of things,” Smiciklas explains. “It affects people physically. It affects people's sleep, appetite, immune system and digestive issues and it even affects people spiritually, leaving them to feel disconnected from God."

Smiciklas says the holidays are particularly challenging for those who have lost a loved one because holidays are filled with contradictions.

"On one side there is supposed to be a time where we are happy and excited, but on the other side, it's a reminder that the person we love is no longer with us," Smiciklas explains. "It becomes a trigger for these grief experiences and emotions."

According to Smiciklas, one of the challenges, when people are grieving, is that we often don't feel like God is close because we are numb.

"I think reminding ourselves of other times when the Lord brought us through things, I think is a powerful thing," Smiciklas says. "When we start to reflect, often what we see is that God brought us through other seasons and other times.”

Although Blue Christmas and Longest Night services will be virtual this year, Smiciklas encourages those who are grieving to participate and get involved.

For the church community, Smiciklas says it’s important, despite all of the COVID-19 restrictions to stay connected with those who have lost a loved one and are grieving.

“Being creative and reaching out, you know whether it’s a phone call, social media, a card or a letter," explains Smiciklas. "Any point of contact is a good thing when you’re trying to connect someone who is hurting.”

“The Lord works through all kinds of these measures, a card, a note, a gift basket. You know you pick it and it's amazing how whatever you do, God will take that so many times and impact someone's heart.”

For those who are hurting and grieving, Smiciklas encourages them to check out local Blue Christmas services virtually and to reach out for help from a professional if necessary.