In 2015 Travis and Adelle Graham's marriage hit rock bottom.
Travis Graham felt like his life was in shambles. During his years of military and police service, he had injured his back multiple times. As a result, he was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, bulging disc, degenerative disc disease, degenerative arthritis and more. He couldn’t walk without pain and ended up fighting an addiction to pain pills and alcohol. In addition, he was dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from a trauma he had experienced on duty as a police officer of 15 years and also struggling with a pornography addiction.
"Our marriage suffered the entire time through that while we both of us were putting on a facade of everything is fine, everything is perfect," Travis explained.
Adelle eventually gave him an ultimatum and he agreed to get help. This is when the healing began for the pair.
"Jesus rescued his heart and saved his soul," said Adelle. "This is when his transformation began."
Thanks to God's healing and restoration, they were able to come out on top and are now helping others rediscover and strengthen their marriages.
Travis says one of the most important steps to keeping a marriage strong is to invest in the relationship.
"It's kinda like if you owned a car, a car is meant to last for a long period of time if you conduct routine maintenance on it," Travis explained. " Our marriages need maintenance as well."
"In our culture, we invest in all kinds of things. We invest in our kid's school. We invest in property. We invest in our car. We invest in our kids in all kinds of ways, yet when it comes to our marriage, we're like, no, it's good," said Adelle.
Travis says how they were able to keep their marriage strong is, they went through a journey in their lives to figure out how to invest more in their marriage and more in themselves to be whole and complete people. They did this before working on their marriage.
"The biggest part of it was recognizing that we were incomplete because we were looking for fulfilment in each other rather than in myself and God, said Adelle. "When we really started diving into God is my source, he is my fulfilment, he is my satisfaction, all of those things, then I'm actually able to show up whole and complete. And, when both of us are showing up whole and complete, we can then share this beautiful space that is meant for us to just get so much enrichment in our lives."
Travis and Adelle continue to grow their relationship, and they are passionate about helping other couples do the same. They lead a Seacoast Greenville small group for couples, and they are now coaching married couples and individuals to live their lives passionately through their ministry, The Noble Marriage.
Today on Connections, Travis and Adelle share what worked to save their marriage. They also chat about what we need to do to keep our marriages strong.